Shytz Feeling

Shytz Feeling

Just back from work. Super tired. Many days nv go work already. I see my next week schedule. Alot of off days!

Today was empty in the shop. I dont know why.

I dont like the feeling i had right now. A feeling a had way back months ago. The feeling of insecurity. My god dad keep telling me my hand is too small. Cannot hold things tight. Very easy to drop, very easy to let go. No grip. I think he meant rather than physical things. Sigh.

I know that the moment of excitement and joy will be over in less than a day. Please slap myself two fold and tell my self why did i even try to do that! Even after telling myself umpteen times not to.

Sigh, i wish to have that feeling that im giving out right now. But i dont think i'll get it..anytime soon. Until the day if my presence ever will be appreciated. Maybe i might. I dont know. I hope to dry my palms off all the sweat and continue to grip and hold on tight. =\

Had a tiff with dad just now. Over some matter. It wasn't really a big matter. But i blew it up cause i was irritated and he added fuel to the fire. Sorry dad.

Hate this feeling im getting. Sucks.